SCRAP Rebel Craft Rumble 2011

It’s pretty well known that I’m a rule breaker, schemer, backstabber, big mouth potty talker, and well dressed strumpet- one thing I’m NOT known for is being a slacker, if there is something big going down, I’m there five minutes early, for someone with little honor to spare, I like to think promptness is one of the few credits in my corner.

The fact that it’s taken me over six weeks to blog about the most awesome SCRAP Rebel Craft Rumble is shameful. I can only offer two excuses for my delinquency, choose whichever sounds best to you: 1. I was detained for questioning after thing went horribly wrong at the chinchilla ranch, OR 2. I’ve been working like a mad woman on the last edits for the Criminal Crafts book and barring an act of God, it will be in stores next spring…

Regardless my excuses, I’m ready to lay it all down now and can profess- the rumble exceeded all my expectations my posse and I had more fun than is legal.  (well except for Wyoming, I think pretty much anything goes there).  I’d been talking crafty smack with a few of the competitors on twitter for a couple weeks leading up to the rumble, so we were all pretty primed for a good fight when the big night came around.

The super talented  Bridget Benton a.ka. “The Crafty Bee” and I came up with short straws and were on deck 1st.  Before I go on to explain the smack down and the spanking I quickly received- I should mention a few things about the rumble I really LOVED- all the competitors had an alias, can’t tell you how at home I felt with the gals all using fighting names, also they all wore costumes, I wish I’d thought to do that, I had my work clothes from the yard and my usual sexy stripes- Next year, I’m totally wearing a costume.

For those of you who’ve never been to a rumble, it’s similar to an iron chef event- Each of us had a stash of materials to work with and were given an object to crafticize with in fifteen minutes.  We could each bring in a “secret weapon” and were encouraged to bribe the judges.  Also there was a lot of beer drinking going down- my kind of gig, crafts, bribery and beer, what could be better right? The Bee and I were given a chair to gussy up and present to the judges.  Despite my “secret weapon” of genuine police issue crime scene tape and drunken strip dance with said chair, the Bee cleaned my clock, deservedly, but hope she’s sleeping with one eye open as I don’t do well with disappointment…

Next up was Miss Aurora and The Chealsinator (sic?).  Dang these guys were both super crafty amazing and had to make THREE puppets, they rocked it, they really did- Aurora made freaky funny voices for her puppets which was disturbingly hilarious.  She went to to the semis only to loose to the Bee in a ball gown designing kerfuffel.

For the finals the Bee faced down raining champ and mistress of all things crafty Sister Diane.  Now, I’m not going to say the spirits were at work, but suddenly the Bee’s glue gun crapped out and her benevolent opposition was kind enough to share tools (this act of mercy further endearing her to the judges)… then when the time ran out and the gals showed their embellished chandeliers, one had faulty wiring and the other…. well, I’d never guess who had divine intervention on that one, and I’d NEVER suggest that Sister Diane made a pact with the devil, but there was this freaky odor of brimstone when the lights went up…

As anyone who was there that night will tell you, it wasn’t about winning or loosing, but having a good time- fortunately my home girls had staged  a prison break that morning and released themselves on their own recognizance. They did me proud and next time around I’ll have a decent change of clothes waiting for them.  Special thanks go to all the amazing folks at SCRAP for putting the evening together and my parole officer, Mrs. Honeyman who let me attend by special arrangement.  More photos from the rumble are up on my flickr site.


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