Big in Japan

Hanacollage

As a well known master criminal, and international woman of mystery, you may assume I get lots of subversive and odd mail, NOT TRUE! On most days my post box is as quiet as the grave, except for the occasional past due notice or latest edition of Crime Spree Magazine .

And while some writers might shy away from the Cathy Bates "I'm your biggest fan" person, I say "you're my kind of crazy, let's get a little nutty off some Modge Podge fumes and go yarn bombing later".

So you can imagine my excitement when I got this delightful note from code name "Hana"...

"Hi, Demeanor. I'm Hana, from Tokyo JAPAN! I looked at your report by the "Craftzine.com blog".

I got the chills! It totally blew me away! Your "Criminal crafts" are sooooo coooool and intense!

I can really relete to them.

I get a your AWESOME BOOK! Definitely! You are fucking Awesome!

Please make me want to be friends.

Keep it Brutal !!! <333

From Hana."

Clearly, she is my new BFF forever. And I was so stoked, I nominated and approved her to be "Head of the Tokyo Criminal Crafts Fan Club" If you live within the city limits or outlying areas of Chiba, Kawasaki, Saitama or Yokohama, you'll be reporting directly to Hana, she's in charge. What Hana will make of this position is entirely up to her, I'd like to think she'll be staying up late making Voodoo doll pincushions and baking cakes with files inside, but really it's at her devious discretion, I only inspire subversive behavior, never cross it.

To commemorate Hana's new position, I've made her a very special fan club badge, which I hope she uses all the time, to gain entry into places she shouldn't.  Similar honorariums are going out to my global craft syndicate with a special shout out going to our Madison WI branch for their nefarious crafting efforts.

You too could be inducted into the Criminal Crafts fan club and get a special badge, it's pretty easy, no blood oaths or wacking off an enemy needed. Just send me one photo of you, with a project from the book and a sassy fan letter I can post on this blog and blammo, you're in the club.  Sounds like fun, right- OK, with my blessing, go make some mayhem!

How to have yourself an Angry little Christmas

wreath1

Well friends, it's that time of year again, when my ice cold heart warms slightly and in an eggnog fueled stupor, I indulge in a little cute craft making.

What can I say.  I love Angry Birds.  I've never played it, but I love it.  I love that it is on my phone and I can give the children my phone and have twenty minutes of quiet mommy time. I love that it's a game about throwing pigs, express bacon, what could be better?  I like that it is "angry" not, plain old "pig toss" or "fussy birds"  there is unabashed emotion here, cartoon characters not afraid to live out their inner id.  They are angry and I can totally identify with that.  If I wasn't the "Criminal Crafter" I might be the "Angry Crafter"  because that suits me pretty well, except for right now, as I'm the "Deeply Amused and Pleased With Herself Crafter" as every time I look across the room and see my new wreath, I crack up, as the little beady eyes are glaring back at me.

wreath2

The whole project was a bit of a whim.  I was at the thrift store last week and found a giant bag of small feathered birds for $3.  Seeing anything with a bag over it's head makes me slightly uncomfortable, so I bought them just to let the poor fake beasties out of confinement.

I gave them the usual treatment- anything that makes it's way into my house and isn't a food object, eventually will get glue gunned to something else frequently being covered in glitter 1st.  I knew school glue and feathers probably wouldn't be a good match so I went with a light coat of spray adhesive and liberally applied the red glitter.

wreath8

My son acted as facial consultant, my prototype birds really weren't angry enough.  I tried calling them names and mocking them, which didn't really work, so I just drew thicker eyebrows on the next birds and that seemed to work out just fine.

I had a grape vine wreath in the basement which gussied up quick with a thick coat of spray paint and I made the pig eyes and ears out of card-stock.  I've a number of birds left over so we'll be handing them off to special friends as Christmas gifts, which is perfect since I ate all the rum balls.